“Don’t let your mind bully your body”
-June Tomaso Wood
Me: Mom, I really do not like the way this makes me look
Mom: Whatever you wear, you still look beautiful!
Me : No! No! I don’t have anything that looks good on me!
Mom: I don’t think you see what I see. Everything you tried on looked fabulous, I leave it to you now.
Let’s be honest, how many of us have been here?
I somehow found it very calming to have uniforms in school. It meant I saved a ton of time I would have otherwise wasted on picking the “right outfit”. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy getting all dolled up in that Little Black Dress for the perfect night out!
The problem is never actually what to wear, its ‘I do not like what I see in the mirror’
Why is it that we so easily find beauty in someone else, but cannot seem to appreciate our own bodies? Why is it that we are constantly trying to get the perfect figure of someone we have idealized to be way better than what we are? How is that even possible? There is only One YOU in this world, and only YOU can do him/her in the best way possible. There is no better or worse. There is just YOU.
It’s ironic, before I ever embarked on my fitness journey, before the injury, if anyone told me I need to lose a few pounds I never felt conscious of myself or how I looked. I always thought of it as someone who has no idea about me or my life and moved on. I am sure many of them were directed with good intentions – i.e. lead a healthy lifestyle, but there were some purely based on how I looked. But now that I have lost all that weight that people always commented about, I am extremely conscious. “Did they notice or not?” “Can they tell I have lost weight?” “Why didn’t they say something?”
Disappointing isn’t it, to work so hard on yourself, and then seek all that external validation?
Now this is where the real confusion starts – being fit and healthy has absolutely nothing to do with how you look. I could starve myself , and work out all the time, and I would still have my curves because that is how my body is. Its a part of who I am. I can either embrace it or hate it and the latter will only hamper my mental and physical being.
So here’s a few thing I have realized about body positivity:
Note: You have probably already read some of these things about body positivity, and I am repeating a few things here, but what I do want to point out is, it is something I struggle with very often myself, so I want you to know you are not alone and I hope that this helps you in some way ❤
- Stop being mean to your body, it is the only one you have
And “mean” includes verbal abuse as well as an unhealthy lifestyle. You have to treat it with kind words and nutritious food. If you can shower someone else with love and tell them how great they look, you can do the same for yourself too!
2. A good lifestyle and body positivity go hand in hand:
When I eat right and work out, I feel great – not because I think I will lose some more pounds, but simply because my body and mind feel good and are in sync.
3. Losing weight does not cure negative body image
And this is the real struggle I face. I look at myself and think I need to lose some more weight so I look a certain way, but if you are trying to lose weight simply to look better, its all going to go in vain. I will be lying if I said I don’t do this often. I am extremely hard on myself at times, and I am working on it and so can you! But try and make it about the bigger picture – the best lifestyle that you can lead!
4. It’s all in that little head of yours
All that overthinking, all that anxiety, its all in the mind. It just won’t agree with you. And you are letting it take over.
How I am trying to overcome this and focus on Body Positivity:
If only Meditation was a subject taught in school, this world would be a much better place. Try it – just ten minutes each day, it will do wonders for you! Its the best way to exhale all doubts.
2. Surrounding myself with people who are in sync with my journey:
I have mentioned this time and again: only attract people who understand what you are doing and uplift and encourage you every step of the way. They never doubted you before, and they don’t now. They truly and wholly believe in the beautiful being that you are.
Spend a few minutes in front of the mirror and appreciate yourself. Everything about you! How much you love that you can do what you do, and do it flawlessly! How awesome and astonishing you are! How much compassion and love you have to offer to this world. Cut out all the self – doubt, its getting you know where.
What if instead of saying “I don’t like the way my thighs look” you could say “I am so grateful I can walk, hike and do everything I love with these legs”
Like all of us, I am still figuring it all out – there is no sure shot way of doing something, its just what works best for you!
5. Absolutely, whole heartedly fall in love with yourself!
Because you are Goddam Amazing!
So here’s to hoping that we all love and appreciate ourselves because we sure as hell deserve it!
You are immensely, ferociously and unconditionally loved!